As I was stumbling my way through the internet recently, I fell upon a YouTube video that I initially believed was part of the “weird” section of the internet. You know the part I mean. After the first couple minutes of watching it, I definitely felt bothered. Then it hit me. Why was it bothering me? Well, because I’m a hypocrite, of course! And chances are you are too.
The video in question is a remix/cover of the song “Different” by 2 Chainz. If you’re not familiar with rap/hip-hop music, or don’t like it, that’s fine. I’m a fan, but that’s because I happen to like music with a rhythm and no thought. After all, I listen to music to relax and not think.
It features a man, Jonathan Monroe, performing a verse (of his writing, I believe) on the “Different” beat, dressed as a woman. Well, not a woman per se, but wearing clothes, makeup, fake eyelashes — things accepted as feminine in American culture (his hair is his own as far as I can tell). He’s also quite talented. Have a watch, but be forewarned; this is NSFW based on language.
As stated above, the video bothered me at first. Something, some part of me, was adverse to a man dressing like this and performing.
But why? After all, I’m as liberal and open-minded as they come. I’m certainly not homophobic, and I talk pretty often about humanity’s need for inclusiveness and love. So why, then, did the video offend me at first, even slightly?
The answer is that, well, it’s different. Strange, odd, not normal. The fact is that human beings are wired to dislike people from other walks of life; in-group/out-group psychology played a huge role in our evolutionary history, and it’s very difficult for us to get past that now.
I’ve been called (many times) a “straight friend” or “straight ally” because of my work helping equal rights move forward. It’s a huge honor every time I am. It’s not an honor because they’re telling me that I’m doing something major for human rights; it’s because my work meant enough to them, as an individual, that they felt they should tell me so, and that means a lot.
Once I figured out that the video bothered me, I watched it three or four times in a row. What was bothering me about it? It was bothering me that I was bothered! In the end, I discovered it was the homoeroticism that was the likely culprit. Something about seeing (gay) male sexuality threw me off. But why? A girl dancing, or a straight couple kissing, wouldn’t. Two men kissing doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Why this?
Part of it may have been the venue. After all, rap music (if you know the culture) isn’t really very tolerant of homosexuals. Although certain members of the community have spoken up (very few) for not bashing people based on sexuality, as a whole it is not accepted.
If you’re a guy, did this video bother you? Not bother you? Girls, what did you think of it? Let me know in the comments section below.
If you’d like to see the original song’s video, here it is. It features shooting at the cops, partying in a boat that is still on the trailer and the main rapper is wearing a matching cheetah (or leopard, I can’t tell the difference) outfit. Actually, I think my fiancee might have the same outfit, except that hers is all one piece, has slippers built in and is apparently really comfortable to sleep in.
Justin .. you hit the nail on the head (no pun intended) . We are all homoerotic, men, women, children even on occasion. Shrinks will tell anyone that at some point in your life, if only for a second or two, everyone will be attracted to a person of the same sex. They might not admit it. Some never would .. never will. Let’s face it .. 2 Chainz is much better looking than the original plus the jest of his video is more sexually provocative. At least you are aware of it. Most people go through their whole lives and never experience it. Doesn’t mean anything significant in terms of your true orientation. So chill .. let it wash over you and enjoy the moment. None of us should fear that couple of seconds when we realize .. yea, I might be tempted. It passes .. just let’s you know you’re alive and kicking!!
hey Justing! How come you’re bothered with the video of the dressed up guy and the language and violence on both videos doesn’t? (eeek!!). You say “Strange, odd, not normal” because he’s dressed as a girl? How about all that junk coming out of his mouth. Yuck! Ok. Now: did you ever see the video for karma camelleon (Culture Club/Boy George)? That came up in the 80′s. It was a little shocking for my generation (I’m 43), but we couldn’t stop watching, to the horror of our parents. My two cents is that there’s nothing wrong with liking something and watching it over and over, whatever gets to you as long as it doesn’t make you act wierd…. are you acting wierd?
I agree with Gayle, I think you were a little attracted by it and since you don’t identify as gay, that bothered you. I think it’s a normal part of sexuality to be attracted to many different kinds of people. Jonathan also has both feminine and masculine attributes that are sexy, he’s just a beautiful person no matter how he’s dressed or made up.
My 10-year-old son also watched it with me, and his only comments were that he really looks like a girl when he has the paintball mask on, but you can tell he’s a guy because of the beard, and “that’s pretty cool.”
To be honest, I find the original 2Chainz video to be a lot more disturbing than a little androgyny.
well i guess i don’t have much to add because it’s already been said. i would like to give you kudos for being so well adjusted at your age to actively figure out why you were having negative feelings instead of transferring them to the “object” of your negativity…also, i would like to say that the 10 year old’s viewpoint was very refreshing and reassuring that there is hope for everyone to get along in the future. I cannot wait for the day for people like you, Justin, to be governing our country and those we call allies. Blessed be.