I used to write a weekly piece of fiction inspired by things I’d read that week and recorded in a sort of literary journal designed for that purpose (it was part of a quote database that I built in my computer by copying quotes and relevant data for later use in my writing. Now has quotes from political books, political documents, nonfiction on science and a dozen philosophers all separated by category and book with a built-in keyword search. It’s an irreplaceable tool that I’ve spent the last two years on. Every notable thing I read gets tossed in). I felt a few of those were worth keeping for some odd reason (usually because they were fun to write), and so now I’m thinking of publishing a few here. This is one such piece.

It’s designed to be very melodramatic; nearly to the point of silliness. That’s a metaphor for something (it should all be clear in the end). Almost tongue-in-cheek in a way. I didn’t change it from when I originally wrote it (in fact, I just copy/pasted), but I did read through. I would have used less pronouns now, and changed other things, but I’m going to leave it as-is anyway. I don’t have a title. Feel free too make suggestions.

Here it is:

There is, of course, a battle imminent between the ultimate forces of Good and the ultimate forces of Evil. “God” and “the Devil” being human constructs, we shall hereby refer to them as simply “Good” and “Evil,” respectively.

Time being relative and the gods being omniscient, the outcome of the battle is already certain; written in stone. This is, quite obviously, a contradiction in definition- if the gods are also omnipotent, how are they omniscient? Can they change a decision if it is already known what the decision shall be? I digress. This is the story of the battle. Or, considering the omnipotence and immortality of the forces involved, simply the story of a great cosmic game.

A few immeasurable units of distance away from the main collision of light and darkness, Good directed his forces with the might of his will. With him, he had few personal guards- a few (for the sake of mortal understanding) simple soldiers (eight, to be exact, although “exact” is certainly as relative as everything else involved), two stalwart soldiers with tower shields, two godly priests, two mounted soldiers in shining armor, and his female counterpart to balance his own power (in truth, they are not divided- however, due to the intricacies and history of the human language, the personification of such a Power would be difficult if it were sexless, and the historical dominant sex in the English language is male. It is easier to simply imagine the Power as two distinct individuals of separate sex).

The battle had been going on for immeasurably long, with no sign of advantage appearing on either side. Dark and Light, Evil and Good, clashed in repeated sorties, changing tactics and strategy on a whim, all to no avail. No ground was gained; no ground was lost.

Good spoke. “My eternal adversary…he approaches?” he said, sounding (certainly for theatric effect, already having knowledge of the happening) confused.

Evil appeared, flanked by forces that mirrored Good’s in type, formation, and number.

“Indeed,” he said, “We grow bored, you and I. I believe we should end this, and decided the fate of all that have been, are, and will be. I challenge you, my honorable adversary, to personal combat.”

“How clever you think you are, Evil. Where I to consent to such a challenge, you would, as is your wont, immediately set upon me with your guards, thereby disrupting the evenness of force and defeating me through dishonorable means instead of pure tactical combat,” Good said, “You cannot fool me. I am all-powerful and all-knowing.”

“How neatly you fall into your age-old fallacies, my friend! For indeed, you are all-powerful and all-knowing. You see clearly all there is to be seen. Truly, adversary, you can see my intentions then, and plan accordingly? I shall indeed set upon you with my guards, friend. And I, being all-knowing as well, am assuming with one hundred percent certainty you shall call your soldiers to your side in order to make sure of fairness. You may call my insight knowledge, if you wish, but I remain agnostic, if only for the sake of argument,” Evil said lightly.

“As my lesser, but near-equal, I accept your challenge, and I shall keep my guards by my side- it will be near-personal combat.”

“Good! You slip into a fallacy once again- we cannot determine who is the lesser until our endless battle comes to an end. You assume you are my better because, as you claim, you came into existence “first.” However, you determine “first” by a measurement of time, and is not time relative to events? Given that your creation was the first event, you cannot have created time, as it is measured by the event of your creation. Is it not possible that I existed first, and created you- and time –by starting such an event? Indeed, if I had done nothing before your creation, how would we measure time? The obvious answer, of course, is that there would be no time. There would only be Me. And as your creator, I would certainly be your better,” Evil stated, a smile playing about his hypothetical lips.

“As your logic is irrefutable and unanswerable, I shall attack, thus taking advantage through first strike,” Good said, ignoring the argument. One of his soldiers leapt forward, responding to the will of the Good force.

“And I respond!” Evil said, one of his knights jumping the soldiers and moving toward the Light.

The personal battle raged on, until all the soldiers lay dead on both sides, and Good and Evil faced each other, only their female halves and themselves left.

“Well, Evil, it appears we wasted our time. We were going to engage in personal combat regardless,” said Good smugly.

“Indeed, as we both knew the entire time, and since the beginning of time. However, even when you have knowledge of something, mustn’t you sometimes create a proof to be sure? Pure intuition isn’t enough to be convincing in such an eternal debate,” Evil replied.

“Yes, quite. Shall we finish?”

“We shall.”

They drew swords and attacked, attacking, parrying, and feinting away, evenly matched once again. They did this eleven times with no ground given, and then a voice came from Beyond, shocking both of them and instantly shattering their entire paradigms.

“DRAW,” the voice said. The universe tilted, and the forces of Good and Evil tumbled off into oblivion.

“Chess,” said one man to the other, “Truly a god in the minds of men.”

“All gods are in the minds of men,” said the other.